A Word on Suicide

Suicide is such a huge issue in our society today.  The rate among people who are living with Chronic Pain is remarkably higher according to a study done by the American Journal of Preventative Medicine.

I decided to write about this as I have tried to commit suicide in the past. I’m so very thankful that I failed!

I suffer from severe depression and have battled with depression since my early teen years.

I was in high school when I first tried to kill myself.

I’ve been in counseling for a very long time and highly recommend it if you’re feeling depressed, anxious or having any suicidal inklings.

Life is CHANGE.

No matter how good or bad it passes quickly and suicide is too permanent an answer for a temporary problem. I have lost dear friends and my beloved Uncle to suicide.

Now I’m a Mom and though I still have those ideas  ~ I know that suicide isn’t an option for me. I have way too much to live for! I couldn’t do that to my son! Or to my Mom.

Living with a chronic illness, chronic pain makes life more challenging in a lot of ways. At the same time, I feel like I’ve learned to appreciate life so much more.

I don’t just glance up at the gorgeous rainy day as I rush to work. I actually get to open the sliding glass door and enjoy it.

I’ve always been a night owl and now I sit out and watch the stars.

True I’m no longer able to teach Montessori. I have found a new passion though ~ I write. Something I thought I could never do and I dearly love.

Still, there are measures that I’ve taken and that I highly recommend.

Always have a “Go” bag ready and easily available to the door ~ This one is a good idea for any time you need to go to the hospital for any reason. In the Go bag, I keep the following

a copy of my id and insurance cards

copy of my medication sheet this includes all Drs I’m seeing and allergies

copy of my living will

a change of clothes ~ I don’t know about you but I have had to call 911 when I’m in my pajamas before and been caught out without a change of clothes before.

cell phone charger and change purse just in case you need to use a payphone

Count your Blessing ~ I know I say this quite often but it seriously helps and as someone with severe depression and suicidal tendencies I can tell you it works. Write it down or just do it in your head. do you have a home? many do not. food on the table? many do not. Start simple and build, I promise it gets easier!

Go outside ~  check out those gorgeous stars, dig in the soil, visit a friend or relative, go to the beach, take a walk with a friend.


Watch a favorite movie or a season of your favorite TV show ~ pop some popcorn and make some quality time for you

Snuggle time with Pets~ No matter what is going on in my life, it can always be improved but some quality time spent snuggled and/or playing with my cats.

Reach out to someone ~ I can’t express how important this is. Call a friend, family member, Priest, Counselor

Calming/Soothing items to have on Hand ~

Warm fuzzy socks

a worry stone

chamomile tea and honey

a favorite scent of candle

lavender lotion

soft fuzzy eye mask

a good book

journal and pen

coloring book and pencils

2 -3 soothing CDs ~ I like jazz or classical when I get really wound. Nature Sounds.


If things are really bad call family the one you were born into or the one you made and stay with them for a few days. Call your counselor and get in ASAP. Most offices have someone on call at all times.

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline  1 800 273 8255


What do you have to help you when your feeling down?? I’d love to hear from you. Hugs~ Shellie