I Only Have So Many Spoons

Since the onset of my illness, my life has changed beyond dramatically. I had worked between two and three jobs most of my life.  When I first became ill, I was a single Mom, worked full-time and had returned to school with the goal of getting a degree in Psychology. I still managed to have a social life and be active in my church community. Chronic illness doesn’t care about these things.

Now I don’t look it but I’m disabled. My life is so completely different than it was before which makes sense I’m no longer that person. I’m the one living with Chronic Illness. It’s exhausting having your immune system destroy itself! Taking your health away as it does so.

On a good day, I can get my housework or errands done and still have the energy to make dinner. This gets done when I prep everything in the morning when I first get going. Even then I have to take a nap.

 

Other days I’m doing good to read, play with my cats and just be alive. I also take more than one nap on these days.

I only have so many spoons to get through each day. Some days more than others. Like most people with chronic illness, I have depression and anxiety. I’m simply determined to find the silver lining in every situation and hold onto it. I’ll use everything in me to find the good. Each day no matter how good or bad is a gift. That’s why it’s called the present.